Have you ever had someone close to you tell you how much they appreciate you? If you have, I’m willing to bet you remember that moment well. That’s because an honest expression of sincere appreciation is to your ears and heart what water and sunshine are to plants and flowers.

The only thing that can match the joy of being told you’re appreciated by a significant other is when it’s you telling them that they’re appreciated. Today I’d like us to examine this two-way street called GRATITUDE.

GRATITUDE can be defined as a “feeling or expression of appreciation.” Truth is, even though you may deeply appreciate having that special someone in your life and are grateful for all they do for you, many people never say it or go out of their way to show it.

That’s a shame and today I’m going to embark on a mission to encourage you to give more time and attention to showing your appreciation. Why?….for the simple reason that it will improve your relationships, physical and spiritual, in profound ways.

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

~Willie Nelson

When you come from the space of GRATITUDE as a way of BEING, and not mere mouthing of it, the divine attitude of gratitude is a powerful place to live from because it completely relaxes and heals your mind on a very deep level.

There is a sweet deep acceptance of life exactly the way it is and this energy allows you to see, feel, and know the bigger picture of our soul’s life plan. By focusing on what you are thankful for, you increase the power and activate more of the good in life. The simple secret to finding happiness in our daily lives is to develop an unstoppable habit of appreciation.

When we feel appreciation for what we have and what we are looking forward to; for what we’re doing and not doing; for what is working and not working in our lives, we discover more awareness inside. We are aware of whom we are being in the world, why we are BEING this way and life expands to a whole new dimension.

“If you want to find happiness – find gratitude.”

~Steve Maraboli

Appreciate everything that your body does well! It’s easy to forget what a magnificent machine you live in until you get sick, break a bone or have to have surgery. Your body is miraculous; a great piece of art from the ALMIGHTY.

What causes us fear and pain is the opposite of gratitude, which is the desire to always want to have more.  That burning Yearning, Lacking and Feeling of desire often makes us forget about appreciating life and others. The mind has this habit of chasing desires all day long.

It’s always feeding itself with the next tantalizing morsel of what will make its life better. The mind yearns for something bigger, better, or more amazing to improve its existence. When we keep following the mind’s EGO around, we end up feeling lost in life.  It’s as if we didn’t have anything better.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”

~Anthony Robbins

Our need and desire to be acknowledged and appreciated is a powerful force that’s deeply ingrained within us from an early age. I realized this just the other day as I was playing with my daughter in the kitchen. She had a bowl of her favorite ice cream on the table beside her.

After taking a little scoop with her tiny spoon, she would immediately return to attempt to shove some into my mouth and say, “This is for you, Daddy!” I would smile, thank her and give her a quick hug or loving pat on her head.

As I kept showing her appreciation in a way she could understand, that short moment of acknowledgment would send her back and forth her ice cream bowl with a huge smile. There lies the power of showing appreciation, because it can motivate like nothing else.

We need to show appreciation with more than a pat on the back, and that’s particularly true when it involves our friends, spouses and significant others. For example, if a dear friend has done something kind and you want to show your appreciation, a heartfelt“thank you” goes a long way.

Never underestimate the powerful message delivered by these two simple words. I don’t think we say it with the proper feeling often enough. Sarah Breathnach said it best…

“When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present, we experience heaven on earth.”

Showing appreciation for your spouse or significant other is also one of the keys to creating a happy and healthy relationship. Too many people become complacent in their relationships over time and, as a result, couples often take each other for granted.

This is a natural outgrowth of familiarity. So to combat this, you must be mindful about this negative trend and not allow it to happen. There are all sorts of creative ways to show your loved one GRATITUDE.

You can for example leave little love notes in unexpected places; such as inside her make-up kit or his wallet. Or even more exciting; inside the little door that leads to the petrol tank cap on the side of the car when you know she’ll soon hit the gas station.

That way, when she pops open that door to fill her car..SURPRISE….and there it is! It’s a simple and effective way of showing appreciation. As a beneficial side effect, I think this one also helps her to deal with the current fuel scarcity! Same is true for him!

A tender touch also delivers a powerful non-verbal message to those we love. A strong, warm and purposeful embrace goes even further. A simple, unexpected and nonsexual hug can go a long way to letting your significant other know you love, value and appreciate them.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” 

~Marianne Williamson

The point here is to not only take note of the big things our loved ones do for us, but also the small things. Showing appreciation for daily doings and goings creates a deeper bond and a more motivated partner.

If you really want to shake things up a bit, try this one: Take your partner’s hands in yours, look him/her straight in the eye and say something like, “I just want you to know how much I appreciate all you do for me and I love you more than I can say.”

If you want to feel the power in that statement, close your eyes and imagine how you’d feel if it were your partner holding your hands and saying those words to you. Even though you may be absolutely sure that your special someone already knows you love and appreciate them, nothing drives that point home more effectively than your saying it and showing it. 

“As we express our GRATITUDE, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them”

~John F Kennedy 

What kind of glasses are you wearing as you go through life?  Are you wearing Poverty Consciousness glasses that only reflect back to you thoughts of lack, deprivation and financial challenge?

Or are you wearing your Abundance Vision spectacles and experiencing an attitude of gratitude that truly recognizes the divine wealth throughout your day?  I invite you to take this moment of your life right now, and get really curious about HOW you are usually seeing the world around you.

If you are wearing Scarcity glasses, you are unknowingly focusing on what isn’t working and worrying about what is missing or lacking in your life.  As you see only what’s missing, your body-mind and emotions are permeated with the neuro-chemicals that create the experience of more fear, doubt, worry and scarcity.

This creates a lower vibration in your body where you can only manifest experiences that reflect back that frequency of difficulty, poverty and lack. To quote the late author Margaret Cousins:

“Appreciation can make a day – even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” 

The good news is that you can choose to take off your poverty glasses and exchange them in for NEW Abundance Vision!  These super clear abundance glasses have powerful conscious lenses that allow you to perceive what is working, what you are thankful for, where you are successful in life, and to truly FEEL the awesome divine energy that surrounds you and permeates your very BEING.

You no longer have to settle for a hard-working tough unloving life where you are merely getting by.  It is truly miraculous what manifests when you start seeing your world as a place that is full of joy and abundance.

Amazingly, being in a state of GRATITUDE is a potent way of being in the PRESENT. No matter how many curved balls life throws at me, I simply go into a ‘Thank God’ mode. As I continue to thank God for what’s available, I also thank for what’s possible as I download intuitive thoughts on how to deal with situation at hand.

For effect, I actually start looking for whom to bless; even in my messed-up state and every single time I do this, God causes more of what to be grateful for, to come into my space. It’s that powerful. Focusing on what’s missing or not working is too expensive for me to contemplate. It makes my mind go back and forth, scanning for regrets of the past or anxiety for the future. It’s only in the state of mindfulness can you become truly creative.

On a different note, there are times we feel offended when we are not appreciated for our efforts by others, especially when they are not so close to us. It is perfectly normal to feel this way. But guess what? It’s a gift to be of service to others and this is how I see it.

One, there are people whose situation in life is much worse than mine and whatever I can do to alleviate their condition is a gift of opportunity to make a difference. Two, am I expecting something in return? Certainly not. God in His infinite wisdom will cause a reward from sources I may never imagine.

Yours is to sow into peoples’ lives. Nobody owes me any appreciation.  Three, everyone answers for his/her own deeds. I do what is needful and I appreciate others. That’s enough for me. I’ve done my bit.

Finally, I cannot end this article without appreciating you, for being a member of this community, spending precious moments to share knowledge for the overall growth of humanity.

It is my hope that you’re as glad reading these messages as I am putting them together. And of course, keep the comments coming as you share this with others who you feel might also find it useful.

Remember: whatever you appreciate; APPRECIATES! 

To New Possibilities and Quantum Results

Tunde Makun

Your Strategic Coach

Ps Recent studies show that when you indulge in daily doses of gratitude, your overall happiness level goes up by 25% after 30 days. Gratitude makes sense of our past; brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

LIMITING BELIEF #5: I’m not talented enough.

With this silent declaration imprint, you will frequently shut the doors against your progress. Narrative expressions of this belief include:“I never get things right/quickly”; “I always mess things up”; “I just knew it would turn out this way”; “not again; here we go again” etc. Pay attention the next time things get messed up in this area, to the immediate responses that whisper in your head. These are the true reflections of the emotions associated with your belief around the subject.

Repeat this process a few more times and you will see a pattern, showing up as a limiting belief. What do your fears tell you about your beliefs, life-scripts, patterns and stories? Are you always a nay-sayer when a new project or adventure surfaces? Do you shift backwards when your boss is looking for a team-leader? Do you run away from responsibilities in territories that are unfamiliar to you? It’s about time that you faced your fears squarely and address this limiting belief. Choose a new belief such as:

LIBERATING BELIEF #5: I’m talented and capable. I can face any challenges.

As long as I can generate a big enough WHY for WHATever I desire, the HOW, the WHERE, the WHEN and the WHO will divinely show up through inspired action triggered by intuition. Acquisition of required skills and knowledge naturally flows into my action points. The strength of emotions accompanying my desire always makes the thought of feeling untalented impossible to accommodate; especially when anticipated rewards are significant. When you are firmly decided on a path of action, notice how determined you are to let nothing stand in your way.

Visualize more of these previous circumstances of success in your past to help reinforce your confidence when the situation calls for more courage. If you did it before, surely you can do it again. You are talented beyond measure and the only person standing in your way can only be you. Stay committed and reach out for help from those who’ve been through it. You are the master of your fate; the captain of your soul. Today, I’m happy that I can lay claim to some versatility because I’ve always believed I could take on any challenge. And still I have lots more new terrains to explore.If you learn to do more than is expected of you; you will likely be rewarded way beyond your expectation.

So, those are five dangerous beliefs that commonly work against us subconsciously. One way to momentarily check your belief on any subject is to quiet your mind when you are faced with taking a tough decision or coming to terms with a setback and listen to what your monkey mind is telling you. It’s usually within seconds and it often goes – “Hmm it’s not going to happen”, “I just knew it won’t work”, “No I don’t want it”, “Trust me to bungle it”, “I can’t afford it”, “I’m not surprised”, “How can I when he doesn’t make me happy”. 

With continuous conscious observation, similar patterns will emerge and it’s then up to you to make a firm decision on choosing to imbibe liberating beliefs that serve your greatest purpose. Choose words that resonate with you. Another means of discovering limiting beliefs is to recognize when you try too hard to act contrary to your natural inclinations; for example if you are always trying to be a people-pleaser, helping everyone in a sycophantic way, perhaps deep down you believe you are bad, wrong or not good enough. When your strenuous acts are rebuffed or not appreciated, the pains run deep and as usual, your monkey mind will never deceive you.

Another way to identify hidden beliefs is to ask yourself what you most fear people will think or believe about you. This fear can point to darker beliefs you secretly hold about yourself.If you are overly independent and strive to do everything yourself, perhaps you are defending against a needy dependent self you inwardly perceive as weak or deficient. If you are a perfectionist, perhaps you are compensating for shame and inadequacy and a belief you are faulty or flawed in some way. Spend time to uncover your beliefs, for they can really be skin deep. Ask close, trusted friends for useful feedbacks.

On a final note, it’s futile to attempt to deny or subdue your true feelings around a limiting belief because what you try to prove to the world can be a sign of an opposite belief you are resisting. Take heed and simply meditate on new, empowering beliefs. Develop affirmative statements around each new liberating belief, which you will repeat early in the mornings and just before falling asleep. If this routine is kept for at least 21 continuous days, coupled with inspired action, then you are done with installing thenew belief. It is important to allow your passions and dreams to stir and fuel the creation of your new beliefs so they reflect your heart’s desires and who you are – the incredible, loving being that has come to bless the world with your special gift.

That’s it for today, I hope you have got some fresh perspectives on how powerful beliefs can be. A reality check for me when faced with a serious project is what hidden beliefs exist within me about every important aspect of the process and until I’m sufficiently sure of a replacement for any limiting belief, I consider it a waste of resources pursuing such a goal. Pay attention to your beliefs, for you can’t go farther than the strength of your belief on any subject. Watch out for another soon, in our series of success principles and habits and remember to share comments with us below. And until then,

Here’s wishing you a life of your dream.

Tunde

ps The means to getting there are the qualities of being there! As you plan your life, fears will show up, challenging your fitness and preparedness to take on challenges. When you feel ill-confident or your skills appear inadequate, possibly fuelling negative beliefs, it’s wise to reach out to someone who’s successfully gone through the route or a Life Coach who’s trained to help hold your vision en-route to your success. Limiting beliefs are sometimes products of poor preparation masquerading as lack of talent. You are talented beyond measure. And remember that faith is only meaningful when your belief is aligned with your efforts. Get the best out of life; dump limiting beliefs. Affirm new liberating beliefs into your system. Be the best you are meant to be and make a difference to the world.

Read Part 1 and Part 2

Learning to befriend wealth is not one of the things we learnt along the way, not even from our prestigious business schools. At best we have been taught how to be “bean counters” for the few rich ones. Wouldn’t you rather own the beans? If you think money is hard to come by, then in time, your prophecy becomes simply self-fulfilling.

On matters concerning your finances, pay attention to your feelings as you spend money; Are you generally scared or joyful? Is your joy tied to the availability or lack of money? These are some of the pointers to your beliefs about wealth. Do you fundamentally believe there’s more than or not enough? Incidentally, even the scriptures support wealth creation because God gave us dominion and the power to create wealth. What you don’t know can really hurt you indeed! A more productive belief concerning wealth I’ve tuned to is:

LIBERATING BELIEF #2: Wealth creation is my birth right; there is enough for everybody.

I believe wealth loves me and I am comfortable with it. I believe that God gave me the power to get wealth and live abundantly. It’s up to me to discover my purpose and step out to make things happen and make a difference. It has taken me time and tons of knowledge to come to this level of conviction. I say this not to trivialize the strength of change required in this process, which I have covered in other publications that are available on our website www.ppld.apoti.net
The foundation of my belief is hinged on a few facts worth sharing: one, that the essence of life is to live more abundantly in a way that glorifies Him; two, that we should strive to be bless as many people as possible; the hungry, the sick, the destitute – which you possibly can’t achieve without significant levels of wealth; and three, that God gave us enormous power to create wealth using our life purpose and the resources to go with it. Indeed, there’s more than enough to go round. When you get to understand and tune into this belief, your perspective is transformed completely.

Now I see the world like a restaurant where all you can ever want is available. You are only required to make your order because if you ask, it shall be given unto you. But you must believe! Even though my life is still work-in-progress, the evidence of the power of this belief is clear to me. The belief about wealth creation gives birth to other secondary beliefs and positive outcomes which I shall dwell on in subsequent newsletters because of the impact of wealth in our individual lives. Notice that wealth and money though commonly interchangeably used are not the same. While money is a means of exchange, wealth is a state of mind. Wealth-consciousness is a lot deeper concept and liberating beliefs are helpful in installing it into our system. With the global economy dishing out so much of gloom and doom, there’s no better time than now to put this mindset change to work.

LIMITING BELIEF #3: If I get…..blank……then I’d be happy

This highly disempowering belief has taken so much joy out of life for most people that if properly understood, is capable of minimizing global/personal conflicts/bitterness arising from disappointments; broken promises, false expectations and so on. Variants of this belief include: “it’s up to him/her to make me do/give it”; “he/she doesn’t make me happy”; “he/she always robs me of my joy”; “the world is a cruel place”; “it’s my luck to always run into sad situation/position”; “life is unfair” and so on. Fractured marriages, broken relationships, family feuds, territorial disconnects and office discontents are mostly rooted in this dangerous belief. I had a close friend, John, who was stuck on the same grade for eight years as a Senior Manager. After five years, he stopped taking his job seriously, completely de-motivated. He was of the firm belief that his boss just didn’t like him – everything that transpired between them subsequently was seen through this filter. All attempts to make him have a hearty chat with his boss on his career issues went unheeded. Ego, which has a way of taking control of events once we surrender our joyful rights to providence/others, took over. Eventually he was relieved of his position after 13 years and one promotion. It took my friend another 5 years to get himself back on track – that’s 18 years of unsatisfactory living. Sometime last year, that episode was revisited, this time with more wisdom and less emotional sensitivity. Surprisingly, my friend actually gave us a lecture on what could have been and how he had learnt quite handsomely from that part of his life history. And so here is an empowering belief for those who wish to begin to think, say, act and experience differently:

LIBERATING BELIEF #3: It’s my right to be joyful – no-one can rob me of my joy.

Here are some of the lessons John learnt: One, that joy is an inside job – hanging your joy on some extraneous factor [like someone hooked onto an oxygen tube] is a recipe for disappointment of different dimensions. You ought to decide on how you want your affairs to turn out. Two, decide on what you want and take responsibility for how things go. John agreed it was his call to meet and talk things over with his boss. He would have got a better view of what the boss was seeing and thinking about him. Three, had he decided to take control of his joy-switch he would have retained his focus and navigated his career path more fruitfully, even if he eventually had to seek his fortune elsewhere on his own terms. Four, the absence of joy has a poisoning effect on virtually every part of our life; it’s therefore cheaper to restore joy quickly [needless to say that John almost lost his marriage as well during that stormy period; he’s still trying to restore things to full normalcy]. Five, without joy you lose the co-operation of folks around you. John became a leper of some sort in his division, once the line was drawn between him and the boss. Nobody wants to risk crossing the enemy line where the boss is concerned. Six, the energy that comes from joy is the power to manifest in every way, including wealth creation. This is one of the little-known secrets of the rich and powerful. So many variables are involved in the manifesting process but without joy, even if you win a lottery, chances are high you’d be broke within two years. This has consistently been proven to be so.

LIMITING BELIEF #4: I’m not lucky when it comes to the game of love.

To love and be loved are fundamental to human emotional balance. There aren’t many people who have got things all wrapped up in the game of love and no matter how much they try, they are blocked by this limiting belief. Narratives of this dangerous belief include: “we are all not destined to find true love”; “there aren’t enough good men/women out there”; “to love is to court painful experiences”; “I’m not lovable”; “true love is hard to find” etc. This limiting belief is very much like a magnetic force or some broadcast signals that’s vibrating all over you, announcing that you are a wrong candidate.

True, you may have had a couple of bad experiences but if you have this belief imprinted in your subconscious as a result, you may actually be working against what you are hoping for. With this belief, you get easily turned off, you are visibly resigned to “whatever comes out of this”, you are scared of being scarred, you are afraid to let go, to the point of being opaque, you fear rejection or disappointment, your expectations are way out of this world or you’ve become completely comfortable with you, yourself and yours. A liberating belief would be:

LIBERATING BELIEF #4: I’m lovable and loving. I’m beautiful in and out

I consider beauty as an embodiment of purity, poise, confidence, as well as physical expression. A pretty face to the exclusion of one or more of these attributes might lead to unsatisfactory results when you are in search of true love. Whatever you have been through, all you need do is be in awareness of what belief is standing against you and simply decide no more of such negative thinking and declarations. Feel loving and lovable; look in the mirror and smile at how marvelous you were made; imagine how lucky that man/woman will be to have you and what a gift to the world you are destined to be. Believe there’s nothing to change other than your perception of you and your thinking and all other appropriate steps will fall into place.

As a man thinketh in his heart…..so is he. If you love yourself, it shows and you will be loved to such an extent. As you can’t give what you don’t have, the starting point is to learn to love yourself. Forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you’ve made in the past and take the lessons with you. Living in anger or guilt sometimes contributes to the feeling of inadequacies or unworthiness and consequently the belief that love is associated with pain. This explains why, unless fundamental changes are effected, it is possible for people to continue attracting the same kind of partners because our beliefs run as patterns in our relationships. Finally, remember that unless you are prepared to be vulnerable [without necessarily being clingy], you might not be able to experience true love.

Read Part 1 Here

In our quest towards achieving any goal of significance, the impact of belief is powerful. This is an area I’ve discovered to be poorly understood in general. I recall that when I was defending my final project for my first degree, one question posed to me by the panel was my vision on wealth. Back then, all I truly wanted was to be comfortable, period. I always imagined great wealth to be associated with stress, sleeplessness and insecurity. I was looking forward to a life of freedom, to just be able to afford the basic necessities of life, devoid of the perceived negative images associated with the rich and famous.

Growing up in a modest, middle-class family, I never imagined it was possible to be mega-rich without scandals to go with it and so it was that for several years, I was essentially able to stay within the limits I imposed on myself in relation to my belief about wealth. Now I know better. Today, I shall share with you five common beliefs that I have discovered to be strong inhibitors to achieving life’s objectives. Firstly, let’s examine the concept of belief.

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe; it can achieve. – Napoleon Hill

Your beliefs are the result of the things you witnessed in life that made you believe them to be true. Beliefs are habitual in thought pattern and so powerful that they actually stay at the very root of our existence and unless you can de-code what beliefs you hold on an unwanted outcome, it’s pretty easy to fire blanks. Take the internet access that has made it possible for me to communicate this to you in minutes; it was only just once imagined. Without a belief in that dream, we would just have stayed with our good old post and telegraph that ruled the world for so long.

Walking the manifestation process backwards summarily; every outcome is preceded by action; which is in turn preceded by emotions; then preceded by words and eventually preceded by thoughts powered by belief. Even when everything is in place, wherever your belief stands contrary to your desire, I’m afraid not much can happen for you. How do I know?

Beliefs are the determinants of what one experiences. There are no external causes.- David Hawkins

Watch this; anytime you doubt the positive outcome [negative belief] of a process, either of two things happens. If it works, you are surprised [as if failure was a standard]. If it doesn’t, you aren’t disappointed [at least you are spared the agony of dealing with failure]. You can’t escape your beliefs because they underline the conscious workings of your mind, so it’s important to identify any counter ones and choose those that fully support your visions and dreams.

Beliefs are the foundations of your dreams and you can’t hope to build your dream on faulty foundations. Your beliefs ultimately then define the boundaries of your experience. Since your beliefs operate within the realm of the unconscious, whenever you are double-minded your reality will surely reflect it accordingly. When your beliefs are however in harmony with your desire, manifestation becomes effortless and fun; the dream-size notwithstanding.

You are the source, not the subject, of your reality.

Accompanying belief are emotions that act as its signature. The stronger the belief, the more profound the emotions will be that surround it. Your beliefs certainly affect your thoughts, feelings, attitudes and actions, which literally shape and dictate your reality at a very fundamental level. These are the blueprints and constructs of your world. When faced with a potentially dangerous situation, you momentarily take a fight, freeze or flight decision. If your emotional energy is strong on the belief of surviving the ordeal, your actions are quickly aligned for victory or successful escape. Otherwise, you simply surrender once you are strongly attached to the belief that there’s no way or no use trying. Here, you practically don’t have the luxury of rationalizing with your conscious, logical mind.

How do you identify negative beliefs?

When it comes to identifying negative beliefs, your emotions are good allies. Whenever you are feeling low, confused, fearful, demoralized, upset, angry, depressed, incomplete, defeated, hurting, blaming or hopeless, for instance, do some introspection to see what thoughts and beliefs are underlying these emotions. Look for the fundamental assumptions that are generating these negative vibes? Don’t blame anybody or anything else. Don’t fight your feeling but simply honor your emotions and listen to what information is being conveyed to you about what’s going on inside of you – your internal processes, beliefs and attitudes. These can be really deep especially if you’ve had them for as long as you can remember. What thoughts or beliefs are they pointing to that may need changing? Express and release your feelings rather than deny, repress, control or judge them.

The good news is that beliefs, liberating or limiting, are yours to make or break. Even if they’ve been with you for decades, irrespective of the source, every belief has been a construct of what you believed to be true for or useful to you. At some point, it was just convenient to hold onto them, especially when playing the role of the victim attracted soothing sympathy or attention from your loved ones. But as you become more responsible and accountable for your outcomes in life, the reality of the need to dump these negative beliefs slowly dawns on you if; you must succeed. This becomes clearer later when we go into specifics.

When you change, so does your world; it can’t but be so.

Changing the beliefs that limit you requires awareness and identification of those hidden agreements that you made and stored so long ago, that are still impacting your life today. Because beliefs are resident in the subconscious, often acting as your comfort zone’s protective mechanism, changing your beliefs at a purely intellectual level won’t work unless you address the emotions that surround and compound those beliefs.

The starting point is the knowledge that you have a choice once you are aware and convinced of the need to change the belief. Some of your beliefs, as you will discover, tend to run as rings and programs in your life and simply deciding to choose new beliefs that serve you can create a whole new world. If you are experiencing persistent negative results in some areas of life, in spite of sincere efforts to make things work, here are five of some limiting beliefs that are fairly common drivers, that can stand in the way of the fulfillment of dreams, together with the liberating contrary beliefs that may fire new insights into where adjustments might be useful.

LIMITING BELIEF #1: This is just who I am.

Nothing burns me more than hearing this statement when I deal personally or professionally with people who choose to remain in their rut. Variants of this statement include: “this is just me”; “there’s nothing I can do about it”; “I can’t change who I am”; “this is how I am made” etc. If this is just the way you are and wish to remain so, then you should be completely satisfied with what you already/will ever have. Otherwise, you cannot remain the way you are and hope to change your outcomes. That’s the definition of insanity; simple.

If you reason exactly the way you did five years ago, I’m told that you’d just wasted the last five years. So, if you have dreams to fulfill, which calls for dexterity and versatility in terms of dealing with people and resources, then you’ve got to consistently re-invent yourself. A problem is never solved at the level of thinking that created it. All these sum up to need to quit casting yourself in concrete, which once set is not re-moldable. It’s unfair to expect people to shift when you are static; especially when you’re the one hurting. Yes, character is constant but behaviour is not. A few of the values that define my essence for instance include – I love organization. I insist on a neat, orderly environment. I have little patience for mediocrity. But when I look back, I notice how far I’ve come on behavioural changes. Here is a belief I embraced:

LIBERATING BELIEF #1: If it’s going to be; then it’s up to me.

Years back, I was overly critical, in an attempt to create and earn the respect of my territory in terms of my defined values; but not anymore. Do I still love my organized space? Yes, of course; cleanliness remains essential to me while I’d still rather do without a mediocre spirit. However, I now understand that I need to work with people such that they are comfortable with/buy into my values because of the qualities they add to life’s rewards. Surely, I can influence people around me to positively key into my values without being an irritant. If I want to comprehensively and consistently enjoy the fellowship of God and man, then it’s up to me.

How do you conduct your affairs with people you come into contact with? Do you take responsibility for everything that happens to you? Are you humble? Are you personable? Are you respectable and respectful of others? Are you disciplined in all ways? Are you considerate? Do you consider fairness and equity essential? Are you firm and ethical? Do you plan your affairs in small and big ways? Are you courageous? Do you give your best in all you do? Are your interactions with others value-adding?

Therefore, if ‘this is the way I am” means the contrary of the qualities listed above, then you’d need a shift. Motivation is required to start the journey but commitment is the fuel that keeps you going. Are you committed to renewing your spirit and skills to meet changing demands of the times? It’s my practice to daily ask for divine understanding on how I can be a better person still, because one, I have many more miles of achievement to cover and two, it is my belief that if it’s going to be, then it’s surely up to me. What about you?

LIMITING BELIEF #2: Money is hard to come by.

Beliefs about wealth are some of the most powerful I’ve come across. They are also subtle because of linkages to spirituality. Central to this belief system is the pervasive lack mentality. Variants of this belief include: “there isn’t enough to go round”; “someone has to lose for me to gain wealth”; “money doesn’t grow on trees”; “money [the love of it] is the root of all evil”; “wealthy people are shady”; “it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than……”; “you need money to make money” etc. Does anyone of these resonate with you? Very likely I’ll imagine; which could have been imbibed from your parents while growing up, the press, your colleagues or even your place of worship! Irrespective of how success is defined by you, wealth is a subject that is colour blind.

We all need it for several purposes and in varying quantities. The tragedy however is that most people cannot connect the absence of wealth to the belief they hold about it. Consistent with how beliefs subconsciously operate, you cannot believe something is evil and hope to attract a quantum of it at the same time, because energy follows your thoughts. When I was young, I recall that very rich people used to be referred to as “filthy rich” [riches and filth?].